Strange Things, Interesting Things

Even though I flew for an airline which was Lockheed free, I've always had a soft spot in my heart for the Connie, especially the Super G.  I think most older airline pilots feel that way as well. There is just something about it, especially in TWA colors, that gives me goosebumps to this day.  Maybe it is because I grew up hanging on the fence at Midway watching those big tubs come and go.  Maybe it's because I had a chance to hear in person, what my sons will likely never hear...four turbo compounds pounding down 31L.  Not a sound in the world like it.

-Nick

and now...

Strange Things, Interesting Things

Now THAT'S a cockpit! (Personal project of our friend, Antti Hyvarinen)

Some pictures need no caption.

In my 62 years of flying, 31 with UAL, the 2nd most amazing thing to date... I discovered this sign many years ago on back of the Captain's and First Officer's seats in the 727.

Well, on the bright side, at least they're not landing.

787 Dreamliner approved for flight after grounding. Boeing has addressed the problem of in flight battery fires and the Dreamliner is back in the air. A simple "battery monitor" has been designed, and a third crewmember, the BMO, battery monitoring officer, will be able to report all battery fires immediately to the captain. Having been approved for "extended overwater flight" as well, the Dreamliner will then have 5 1/2 hours to find land.

Logbook writeup: Aircraft requires excessive thrust to taxi.

Logbook writeup: Loud whistling noise from passenger cabin. Suspect pressure leak.

US Airways announces new cutbacks. "No" man crew, reduced maintenance costs..." .

"...Ok, hold it right there, back on the throttles, now ease back on it til you feel the wheels touch the runway."

"Ladies and gentlemen, if you look off our right side, you'll see your life passing before your eyes."

Okay, let's give the refueler the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he thought this B-1 could only take fuel through its boom.

The school couldn't figure out why this nifty new sign wasn't drumming up more business.

"On the next episode of MONSTER GARAGE...An overeager cop straps an F-15 to his roof!!"

It's take your kid to work day!! Yipeee!!

HOLY CRAP!!! Are we the only ones wondering if that guy is wearing pants? Oh, and that plane is kinda low too.

"Aren't you supposed to buy me dinner first?"

A-380, non-stop to Hong Kong

A-380, non-stop to Hong Kong

"As you have heard in the news, we offer un-surpassed first class seating, with full sleeper seats..."

A-380, non-stop to Hong Kong

A-380, non-stop to Hong Kong

"We also will be preparing your meals to order in first class..."

A-380, non-stop to Hong Kong

A-380, non-stop to Hong Kong

"Please understand that since 9-11, we can no longer provide bathroom walls, in the name of national security..."

A-380, non-stop to Hong Kong

A-380, non-stop to Hong Kong

"Finally, as you board, those of you in coach will see nothing has changed..."

FedEx DC-10's are now wheel chair accessible.

"With the launch of the BLOWSUCK 4000, the ETOPS limits will be extended from 180 minutes, to 300 minutes. Logic being that with only one engine, the odds of losing an engine has been cut in half..."

"The U.S. is tired of being seen as insensitive. As of this date, all strategic bombers are being equipped to deliver nuclear payloads with more of a "warm fuzzy" feeling than in the past. Also, angora just looks nice."

"...and after losing both engines, this United 757 was brought safely back to earth. Thank you Lufthansa."

"Airbus Industries is pleased to announce the completion of the first test flight of their prototype, all composite aircraft."

"Emerging from chapter 11, United Airlines takes delivery of the new Airbus A-317, as a move to keep operating costs in line. No tail to fall off and pre-delaminated."

This is an actual crack that was found in the window frame on a 737 and could have caused a major in-flight problem!

Now that the A-380 has been discontinued as a dismal failure, Airbus has salvaged all of the "good" parts to launch its replacement.

"If you can see the runway, you can make the landing" (old rule of thumb)

"Delta 429, ATLANTA GROUND. Taxi Runway 27-Left, expect no departure delay..."

"Ok, we have a small break between thunderstorms, cleared for takeoff" (only pilots that have personal experience flying into Atlanta will find humor in this).

"...if we fly with my head like this, I think we can get one more manual on the glare shield. Oh, and by the way, I think our number 6 engine quit."

"Hey Gjorki, tell me when you see the runway!!!" (Aeroflot heads up display)

"Welcome to Dubai. To save you the hassle of customs, we have parked the aircraft closer to where your cars are parked. We have also provided a special 'disembarking' ladder for your convenience...caution, slippery when wet."

"Mr. Shatner, there is nothing wrong with the wing, now go back to your seat and calm down."

Gary Austin's "Stratolina"...half PBY CATALINA, half STRATOCRUISER.

Airbus A-380 makes yet another emergency landing after losing 9 of its 12 engines. No injuries were reported among the 9600 passengers on board.

Southwest Airlines now offers, for an added fee, their answer to "Economy Plus". Not more legroom, MUCH more HEADROOM".

The merger of United and Continental airlines has been finalized. By mutual agreement, the two carriers have decided to do away with all of the best parts of both airlines. What remains will save the "New United" millions. Once it has no more passengers to carry, the last major annoyance will have been eliminated.

OK all you glass pilots, take note: THIS is what a cockpit should look like. Unfortunately, all that electrical stuff you see was assembled by the same guys who wired Jaguars.

BOEING ANNOUNCES the next Ultra-Dreamliner 797. Shown here on its inaugural flight, the 797 is the answer to every airline's dreams: no pilot, no cabin seats, so at last passengers will stop bitching about a lack of legroom. Taking Southwest Airlines highly regarded "gangbang seating" as a model, finding an aisle or window seat will be no problem; there are no aisles, no seats and no windows. Boeing predicts that soon they will build an airliner that will carry no passengers. Or...737 Max?

Those Russians sure have a knack for building cockpits. TU-22 military.

Airline seat for passengers with no legs.

This is actually the new, proposed, airline seating concept. Works great, until you have to evacuate. In that case, you will be issued a 34 page manual, explaining how to chop your way through the maze of stairways, ladders and other crap. Optional axe available for $79.99 USD. (The one pillow visible, is to be shared by all passengers. 10 minutes at a time, then pass it to the guy next to you. If you have a horrible cold, please keep that to yourself otherwise it will interrupt the flow}.

Questions?  Email us at 72715k@gmail.com

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